


The Hunter and The Angel- Destiel

by NEG85



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Ass to Mouth, Blow Jobs, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Canon LGBTQ Character, Castiel Comforts Dean Winchester, Castiel Has Feelings for Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Time Having Sex, Dean Winchester Actually Deals With Feelings, Dean Winchester Realizes Feelings For Castiel, Dean Winchester Talks About Feelings, Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester Fight, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Dean Winchester's First Time With a Man, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester Fluff, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Hand Jobs, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Love, Oral Sex, Other, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:15:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27701927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NEG85/pseuds/NEG85
Summary: Dean finally admits to himself he has feelings for Cas. Now what is he going to do about them?
Relationships: Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Jack Kline & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 78





	1. Moment of Truth

**Author's Note:**

> I forgot about this story I started and it already has several chapters. Hope you all like it :D

Dean’s room is filled with the smell of slightly burnt grilled cheese sandwiches and Led Zeppelin music. A white porcelain plate sits empty on the end table. A grease spot and the tiniest hints of cheese and breadcrumbs are the only things that remain. Dean is laying down with his eyes closed and hands together comfortably across his lower chest.

To look at him, it would seem he’s relaxing. Well, he is TRYING to relax, but beneath the surface he is analyzing something that happened. There had been a significant moment two nights ago. He and Cas had had another dumb fight.

*Dean recalls what happened*

They had been arguing about something when something changed.

There was a look. That pining, wide eyed stare suddenly in both their eyes again, like so many times before.

Dean took a deep breath and looked down at the floor before he locked eyes with Cas again.

Cas didn’t break eye contact this time, like Dean had come to expect him to; Like he had every time before.

Standing this close to Dean, made it hard to stay focused. Cas’ face no longer read as angry. Cas felt his eyes dart down to Dean’s mouth without his permission; like so many times before. He forced himself to make eye contact again. “Look, I just...after all we’ve been through…” Cas trailed off, starting to lose the battle to himself.

Dean’s anger was turning into something else. The tension was still thick in the air between them. He now felt unable to look away from Cas’ blue eyes. He licked his lips and gulped. The animalistic yearning began to consume him. “You just what? He asked. His anger was once again defused by his body’s complete betrayal. It was the familiar lustful urge he had had to fight off over and over.

Dean’s heartbeat thumped loudly in his ears and he couldn’t believe this was real. The raging desire he felt was now so overpowering, he was more than willing to surrender to it. His mouth had fallen open as he simply awaited whatever Cas decided to do next. He was frozen with disbelief.

Dean can’t help but unintentionally hold his breath.

‘Is this really happening?’ Dean had thought, extremely surprised but also finding himself hopeful of what the next moments might hold.

Cas leaned in until his lips were mere inches from Dean’s mouth now.

Dean’s mouth started to water.

Realization glimmered in Cas’ eyes and he retreated and moved away.

‘Damnit’ Dean thought, closing his eyes.

*back to current*

He didn’t imagine it. He could still see and feel it clearly as he recalled the events.

His eyes opened and he sat up.

‘Do I really want Cas to kiss me?’ he thought. ‘I felt the heat between us. I felt sure we were about to have our lips meet. My mouth….longed to taste him.’ He was unsure how he felt about this revelation. He had been keeping these feelings hidden, even from himself. His heart is pounding once again, eyes wide.


	2. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam confronts Dean regarding Dean's feelings for Cas.

Sam and Dean had just finished up a werewolf case in Chicago. They had been gone for a week and a half and had just made it back home to the bunker that morning. Cas had come by to sit and talk with them as they ate breakfast. He had just left.

Dean and Cas had sat having intense wordless conversations; Their eyes saying what they forbid their mouths to speak out loud. The nervous, flirty energy was present as always between them. Sam had gotten used to feeling like an awkward 3rd wheel around them. It always felt like he was tagging along on a date between two people who were so clearly meant for each other, yet neither was willing to make the first move.

With Cas gone, Sam decides he has had enough of this game they have been playing for way too long. Neither one admitting the way they feel, both assuming the other doesn’t feel the same. The hopeful looks, the loving little touches that they hope no one notices. 

‘I have to say something.’ Sam tells himself as he and Dean start on the dishes. He knows full well it will start a fight. He hands the clean dishes over to Dean one by one for him to dry with the hand towel and put back into the cabinet. “Dean, don’t you think it’s about time to be honest?” Sam asks as Dean continues to dry and put away the dishes.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Dean answers, jerking his head to scowl at him. 

He sighs and looks at Dean. “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“No, I don’t think I do. Why don’t you spell it out for me.” Dean growls. He drops the skillet into the sink with a clang, and steps back.

Sam laughs and shakes his head at how ridiculous and stubborn he’s being. He gently puts the plate he was washing back into the soapy water. “Dean, it's okay- I know.”

Dean tilts his head slightly toward Sam, widens his eyes and puts his hands out. “Know what? Sam?” 

Sam sighs, looks to the ceiling then back at Dean. “I know how you feel about Cas.” 

Dean shifts his stance and gulps, stiffening his jaw. “What the hell are you talking about?” he asks completely full of shit. Dean can feel the panic flow through his body as his stomach begins churning. ‘Oh god, does he really know?’ He can only imagine how well that kind of thing would have gone over with their father.

Sam gives Dean a knowing look. 

“What, Sam? He’s family, he’s my best friend. I think it’s pretty clear how I feel about Cas.” He makes a valiant effort to dismiss his brother’s accusation. “Wha-

Sam cuts him off. “You’re right it IS obvious! To everybody except Cas! He’s an angel, Dean. If you haven’t noticed he can be kind of oblivious.

“Okay, you lost me.” 

Sam groans in frustration. “You need to tell him how you really feel, Dean.” 

“Really? And how is it that I feel, Sam?” Dean asks, now challenging him to say it out loud. The truth is, he honestly did want to hear him say it, because once it is spoken and no longer only trapped inside his own mind, maybe he will be able to fully admit and accept it. Then again, maybe he’s wrong and Sam doesn’t know anything.

“Dude, it’s more than obvious that you’re in love with Cas.” 

Dean’s jaw drops, for a split second before he recovers and puts on his ‘you are so wrong about this’ face, shakes his head and averts his eyes. He pretends to still be mad, because he doesn’t know any other way to let Sam give him advice without feeling like he’s begging for help.

“C’mon man, I’m your brother. It’s been years and… I mean I see the way you guys look at each other. EVERYONE does. But nobody wants to butt in. And I haven’t said anything either but…” Sam trails off. 

“But what, Sam?” Dean says, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“But it’s obvious he feels the same about you.” Sam sighs and softens his tone. “Especially in our line of work, and in our family….Dean, please. Tell him how you feel. You deserve love and to be happy if you get the chance.

Dean clenches his jaw and stares at Sam silently. 

“Dean!” Sam insists.

Dean gives Sam a defeated ‘you got me’ look. “And what if I did...ya know- tell him how I feel?” he asks, not making eye contact.

“Then- you can find out if he feels the same way about you.” 

“And if he doesn’t?”

“He still deserves to know.”

“And what if I can't take his answer?”

“You REALLY think he doesn’t feel the same?”

“I don’t know- it’s Cas. He can be hard to read. “I...I don’t know what I’d do if…” Dean trails off.

“Dean, have you even CONSIDERED the possibility that you could be wrong? Don’t you think it’s worth the risk to find out?” Sam pushes.

Sam sees genuine fear in his brother’s eyes. “Look, with our life, we never know how much longer we’ll survive. Hunter’s usually don’t get happy endings, Dean. Don’t you think it’s something worth trying for? C’mon man, if the roles were reversed, what advice would you be giving me?” 

The serious meaningful look he gives, makes it hard for Dean to ignore.

Dean doesn't respond this time. He simply averts his eyes, and heads to his room to think.

Sam lets out a deep sigh and continues with the dishes.


	3. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean decides to talk to Castiel alone- to confess his feelings.

Sam, Cas and Jack are in the library studying, when Dean enters. He spots Cas sitting alone at a table across the room from Sam and Jack. Dean quietly sits down beside him, hoping to avoid drawing the other’s attention. Deep in concentration, Cas doesn’t seem to notice.

Dean smirks unknowingly toward the one he loves. Nervousness and urgency press the issue and he breaks the silence.

“Hey Cas, can we talk?” he asks in a quieted voice, leaning in closer than necessary.

At this Cas turns to face Dean, their eyes meet. Dean now realizes he has leaned in closer than he intended. He feels the warmth of Cas’ body heat and his lips beg to find Cas’ mouth.

The heat from Dean’s breath touches Cas’ lips. His cock twitches and starts to swell. A familiar hunger starts to build. He recognizes it as he has felt it before around Dean.

Dean glances toward the floor for a brief moment before forcing himself to once again meet Cas’ gaze. He sighs, then lightly chuckles and offers an awkward smile. 

Cas waits patiently, growing more curious as the seconds pass. He could stare into those bright pools of emerald until the end of time.

Sam notices Dean out of the corner of his eye. “Hey, find anything about a case?” he asks.

Jack takes notice of the conversation and turns to look at Dean. He slides his chair sideways a few inches and it makes a terrible short SCREECH sound that echoes loudly. Everyone winces. Jack offers a simple, child-like smile as an apology.

There is an awkward silence. 

“I don’t have anything yet. I just uh….” Dean starts to answer Sam, then is unable to finish the thought. All at once all eyes are on him.

Dean tries to keep from blushing. He panics and says the first thing he can think of. “We...need groceries. So I thought Cas might want to go..with- me.” His eyes dart from Jack to Sam before landing his gaze once again toward Cas. He feels sweat starting to bead up on his skin.

Sam makes his best effort to not smile knowingly at his brother. ‘Holy shit, he’s actually going to make a move! FINALLY!’ he celebrates in his mind.

“Since when do YOU go grocery shopping?” Sam asks incredulously. Dean glares at Sam and it takes all the restraint he has not to let out the roar of laughter he feels deep in his chest.

Dean nervously darts his eyes towards Cas with a slight head nod, as if to wordlessly express his intentions.

Cas curiously and silently searches Dean’s face.

“Can I come too, Dean?” Jack asks excitedly, jumping up from the table. His wavy dirty-blonde hair bouncing. It’s obvious he wants to spend more time with both his dads. His wide eyed grin makes a tinge of guilt tug at Dean’s heart. But still, Dean needs some privacy with Cas this time.

Jack glances from Cas back to Dean.

Dean casts Sam a look of silent pleading, unwittingly holding his breath. Of course Sammy comes through for his big brother. “Hey Jack, why don’t we lay off studying for the rest of the day. I’ve got more of those old black and white movies you like.” Sam stands and stretches his arms. “Why don’t you pick out a few and we’ll watch them tonight.” Sam offers, smirking and casting a quick look to Dean that says ‘you’re welcome’.  
“Really?” Jack answers. “Popcorn too?” he adds. His eyes shining with excitement. “Yeah sure, popcorn too.” Sam stands and puts his arm around his shoulder, leading Jack down the hallway.

Dean realizes he forgot to breathe and lets out a substantial sigh.

Cas looks back to Dean, his eyebrows furrow. “Is everything okay, Dean?” he asks with genuine concern. He places his hand gently on Dean’s shoulder and Dean immediately feels butterflies flitter in his stomach.

Dean jolts up, away from Cas’ touch and calming the butterflies for now. “Yeah, I um...I just need to get out of the house and want to talk to you- alone.” 

“Al-right.” Cas replied. Concern showing on his face. Cas walks with Dean as they make their way to the garage without a word. The faint smell of butter fills the air as Dean closes the outside door behind them.

The driver’s side window is down just enough to let a slight breeze in. The engine roars as they cover ground as fast as Dean is comfortable going without causing Cas to think there is a reason to panic. The radio quietly plays blues music, but the station is getting out of range.

Cas seems to mindlessly watch the trees pass by his window. He keeps his worries to himself, satisfied that this must be the purpose of Dean wanting to talk to him alone. ‘It must be something bad. Something about Sam...or Jack...or both.’ Cas brushes the thoughts off as much as possible.

The sky is a mix of pink, purple and blue as they make their way out of town. The glowing sun dips below the horizon and disappears. Once they get several miles away from the bunker, Dean finds a place to pull over. He spots an empty parking lot with a ‘building for lease’ sign, pulls in and parks. Dean turns the engine off and leaves the key in the ignition. He leans back against his seat and sighs deeply. He rests his hands on his lap, building up the courage to look over at Cas.

Incoming rain suddenly saturates the night air, so Dean rolls up his window.  
Cas notices they are parked and casually looks over to Dean. He places his hand over top of Dean’s. “What is it you wanted to talk about?” he asks, as his eyes search Dean’s face. Dean gulps and licks his lips before meeting Cas’ curious stare. He’s very aware of the warmth of Cas’ touch as the butterflies are back now

Once again Dean’s lips are drawn to Cas’ mouth. He catches himself about to lean in. He quickly averts his eyes down to Cas’ hand on his, and feels his heart start to race. He tries to think of the right words to say, but he can’t keep from meeting Cas’ gaze once again. ‘God those eyes. Has Cas always been this dreamy?’ he thinks to himself.

‘Okay here goes’ he tells himself finally. “Cas, I …” his eyes clamp shut and he takes a deep breath before shamelessly returning his attention to Cas. Cas moves his hand away and shifts in his seat, his body facing Dean now. “Are you sure you’re alright?” Cas insists. Dean smiles weakly before shyly darting his eyes straight ahead. “Can I ask you a question?” his heart beats wildly as he approaches the subject he hadn’t found the courage to address until now.

“Of course you can, Dean. You can talk to me about anything.” ‘You got this far’ Dean told himself. “Okay, so you said that angels don’t have emotions and urges like humans do, right?” “Yes.” Cas answers. “But when you lost your grace you became human and so you DID have all those, right?” His heart beating so hard now he could feel it thudding in his ears. Another “Yes.” is all Cas offered once again. 

“So, now that you have your grace back...do you still have any- human...aspects?” There was a short pause. “I..no longer need to sleep or eat.” Cas answers flatly. Dean’s heart sinks as Cas’ answer seems cold and robotic- like a typical angel would. 

Dean sits silently now. Cas senses he has not sufficiently answered Dean’s question. He scoots closer to him. Dean’s hands are now tightly gripping the steering wheel and is leaning up and slouching. His jaw clenches and he keeps his eyes from Cas.

Cas carefully considers how to answer his question in a better way. Dean quickly steals a glance back at Cas and sees he has that look on his face that he gets when he is deep in thought. Dean starts to get frustrated with himself. ‘Just spit it out’ he told himself. ‘You’ve waited this long and now it feels like dying to not just blurt it out. But I need to know if Cas feels the same way about me or if he even has the ability to.’ 

After what feels like an eternity of silence, Dean and Cas unintentionally lock eyes. Dean feels himself bite his lip, and hopes Cas doesn’t notice. “Dean, I am not the same being that I was before. I’ve changed. I am no longer like other angels. They do not understand me. There are things I have learned that cannot be undone. 

Things that….I want and need and ….feel, that angels were never meant to experience. It should not be possible. My sole purpose- the reason I was made... was to serve heaven. But now...being a part of this family has become my new purpose.”

Dean’s heart soars at the possibility that Cas might mean what he hopes he means. ‘But what if I’m wrong?’ He feels his eyes fill with tears that threaten to spill out and roll down his cheeks. He shifts in his seat. He is terrified that Cas doesn’t feel the same- that he can’t. 

His heart is starting to crack, ready to shatter. His hope is being rapidly replaced by doubt. ‘Of course he doesn’t love you. He’s too good for you. How could you ever think you are good enough to even deserve his love anyway?’

“Dean.” Cas breaks through the panicked thinking and heartbreak Dean has come to expect. “What’s wrong, Dean?” Cas asks, now placing his hand on Dean’s shoulder. Dean turns his head away and attempts to hold back the tears as his heart sinks lower. He doesn’t answer Cas- he can’t. He’s on the verge of breaking down and he refuses to.

A few moments of silence pass.

“Dean, are you….mad at me?” he asks, breaking the silence again.

Dean can’t deny the way a single touch from Cas sends electricity shooting down his spine. ‘I’ve gone this far, it’s too late to turn back now. He decides to just blurt it out. ‘No matter what, might as well give it a chance and see.’ he tells himself.

Deans tear filled eyes meet Cas’ mesmerizing gaze. The dam breaks and tears cascade down his face. Cas immediately shows deep concern on his face and leans forward and caresses Dean’s cheek. Dean looks away again. 

“What is it you want, Cas?” his voice cracking. “You said you have wants and needs. What do you need? What do you feel?” he asks, wiping the stream of tears that are still falling.

Cas feels like he is being stabbed in the heart. He can’t stand seeing Dean in pain. He lovingly puts his arm around Dean’s shoulders and scoots even closer until there is no more space left between them. He firmly but gently grabs Dean’s jaw and pulls his face back towards him. “You wanna know how I feel?” he asks. Dean nods softly as the tears turn into deep sobs. Cas sees heartbreak on Dean’s face. 

This is too much for Dean. He shuts his eyes tight, a strained look on his face like he’s being tortured. A whimpering noise pours out of Dean. Cas still holds his face. “Dean, you look at me!” Cas ordered. Through blurred vision, Dean sees that Cas’ face is wet with tears falling. Cas leans in until his lips are inches away from Dean’s mouth. What I want….is you.” he cries. 

A surge of joy flows through Dean’s veins and his heart feels so full it's overwhelming. Their arms wrap around each other and they cling tightly. Cas leans out just enough to meet Dean’s lips with his own.

The tears stop falling but their faces are still damp. They kiss deeply and passionately. Dean takes Cas’ tongue into his mouth desperate to finally taste him. Cas’ hand is on Dean’s neck and Dean’s hand has a tight grip on Cas’ hair at the back of his head. Cas pulls away just enough to lock eyes with Dean. 

Both breathing hard, Dean brushes a fingertip over Cas’ lips. Cas’ eyes flick down to Dean’s mouth then back up again to find desire written on his face. Cas slides his tongue out and licks the tip of Dean’s finger. Dean feels his erection brush greedily push out of the front hole of his boxers and rubbing against the thick, rough material of his jeans.

Dean kisses Cas’ neck and along his jawline softly and sweetly. He never thought he would be so happy to feel a man’s stubble rubbing against his face. Cas pulls Dean’s shirt up and Dean helpfully lifts his arms. Dean eagerly helps him remove his as well. He kisses Dean’s tanned rough shoulders. He lightly caresses his skin, marveling at his smoothe, toned chest.

Cas’ hand makes its way slowly down until it is just above the waistband of Dean’s jeans. The soft fuzzy hair of his happy trail wildly excites him. The thrill of this new sensation clouds his mind and it is hard to think of anything else. He starts moving his hand down farther when Dean lovingly takes his hand to stop him.

“Cas.” Dean says, looking straight into his eyes now. “I love you. And I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to say it.” “I love you too, Dean” Cas answers before laying his head against Dean’s chest. Dean wraps his arms around Cas and just enjoys holding him. He smiles and realizes that this is his happiness. They breathe together. Cas likes the way he hears Dean’s heartbeat.

“So…” Dean starts. “When you say you want me, does that mean..” he trails off. “Intercourse?” Cas replies dryly.

“You have GOT to find a better word for that.” Dean says chuckling. “But yeah. Do you have those type of urges still?” he asks.

Cas sighed. “I don’t have much experience with intercourse, but I would like to be intimate with you, Dean.”

“Only if it’s something you want, Cas. Don’t just do it for me. We don’t have to if you don’t want it.”

“I want to, Dean. Will you show me how?”

“We can learn together.” Dean replies.


	4. A Night Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel finally get to have a night alone after they've both confessed their feelings for each other.

“I have an idea.” Dean tells Cas, with a mischievous grin. Dean calls Sam and tells him that he and Cas will be back sometime tomorrow. 

Cas and Dean make their way up the stairs. Around the corner they reach room number 223. Dean opens the door and let’s Cas inside first. It certainly isn’t anything fancy, but it's an affordable temporary getaway. The walls are seafoam green, there is one queen sized bed, two chairs and a small wooden desk. 

They sit across from each other at the table. Dean fills both glasses with whiskey then hands Cas his. He grabs his own, and they both down the contents in one swift motion. Dean stands and walks over to Cas. He tenderly takes his hand, pulling Cas gently towards himself. Dean turns him to face away from him and pulls off his trench coat and suit jacket and hangs them in the corner of the room. Cas watches silently, nervously as Dean removes his own jacket and overshirt and hangs them up as well.

Cas follows Dean to the bed and they sit side by side. They take off their shoes and socks, then Dean scoots over and leans in towards Cas’ face. Cas shyly moves until he finds the warmth of Dean’s hand with his own. Dean smiles and kisses the back of Cas’ hand. 

Dean reaches out until his fingers feel the flesh along Cas’ jaw. He softly caresses his lover’s cheek and the back of his neck. Then he leans in until his lips almost meet Cas’ mouth. “Would you like for me to kiss you?” Cas’ breath catches as Dean’s hot breath falls on his lips. 

He simply nods. Their lips meet and then Dean eagerly takes Cas’ tongue into his mouth. Cas is tremendously aroused by the burning hot wetness. Dean starts sucking and pulling on it, and whimpering moans escape from Cas that vibrate Dean’s mouth. 

This causes Dean’s erection to stiffen. Suddenly Dean pulls away. “Tell me, is there anything specific you want to ask for? What can I give you? What can I do for my Castiel?” 

Hearing his name spoken causes his member to jerk, spitting wetness onto his boxers. He has never felt such a sensation before. ‘Is this really happening?’ he wonders. Mentally tracing every freckle around those emerald pools, he thinks about what he wants. What he should ask for.

Cas leans back on the bed, clinging to Dean’s hand. Dean lays beside him. They study each other’s faces silently. Cas runs his fingers through Dean’s hair. Dean licks his lips and gulps. Cas moves his hand to caress Dean’s cheek. He gently brushes his thumb against Dean’s lips.

Dean takes hold of his hand and slides Cas’ thumb up and into his mouth. He sucks on it intently while looking directly into his eyes. Cas removes his thumb from Dean’s mouth and leans up. He loosens and removes his tie. He begins unbuttoning his shirt, but Dean takes over. He unbuttons slowly, getting more aroused as more and more skin is revealed.

He opens the shirt and pushes it off Cas’ shoulders, neither one caring where it lands. Dean’s eyes explore Cas’ exposed skin, breathing heavily. His eyes are full of passion as he pulls him closer. Dean pulls Cas until his knees are resting on either side of him, sitting right at his erection. Dean runs his hands along Cas’ back and takes in the sight of the Angel on top of him.

Cas kisses Dean again. He just can’t get enough of his taste. Dean kisses back with his hands on either side of Cas’ face. Pulling away, Cas tugs on Dean’s shirt, with a pleading look. Dean takes the hint, leans up and helps Cas pull it up and over his head. Cas drops it beside the bed. Dean grabs Castiel’s hips, flexing his muscular biceps. He grinds up against him, causing Cas to moan softly. 

He runs his hands over Dean’s smoothe, firm chest. Dean’s eyes close, biting his lip. Cas rocks his hips, pressing his hard cock against him. “I want you, Cas.” Dean leans up wrapping his arms around Castiel, kissing him deeply. Cas’ moans are muffled by Dean’s mouth. Dean pulls back from the kiss, starting the undo Cas’ belt and zipper. A shiver of anticipation runs through Cas.

Dean holds onto him and moves forward until Castiel’s back is against the bed, now laying on top of the Angel. Eagerly getting rid of Cas’s pants and underwear, he tosses them wherever they may land. “Can I try something to see if you like it?” Dean asks. 

The panting Angel simply says, “Yes.” Dean lurches forward, placing his hand on Castiel’s magnificent cock and puts only the head in his mouth swirling his tongue around slowly. This draws a deeper moan, as Dean starts to move his hand, jerking the Angel’s cock. It’s overwhelmingly pleasurable, and Cas pants heavily desperately locking his fingers in Dean’s hair. “Uuhh...uhh...uhh..uuuhh..” He whimpers at too much stimulation.

Finally Dean licks his way down the shaft and takes the full length into his mouth. The heat from his mouth and tongue sealed against Cas’ throbbing dick. The soft and slick lips running along him causes the Angel to throw his head back against the pillow. “Uuuuuhhhhhnnnnn.” he moans loudly, then bites his lip.

Obviously getting a positive reaction, Dean continues working towards Cas’ first ever orgasm. He wraps his arms around the Angel’s strong masculine thighs. This only adds gasoline to the fire of his hunger to please his lover. His mouth moves faster, removing his hand and swallows even more of his length. 

“Ohhhh….Dean….Aaahhhh….” Castiel moans, rocking his hips to match the rhythm of Dean’s mouth. He pulls hard against Dean’s hair causing him to moan which vibrates his throat against him.

This throws the Angel over the edge and power surges from his fingers and into Dean as he cums down his throat. Dean moans loudly, barely muffled, as he cums hard onto the comforter. The moans only add more the vibrations against Cas’ already spasming dick making his orgasm that much more intense.

A full minute later, they are both panting and exhausted as their body still continues to twitch. “What...what the hell was that?” Dean asks, still feeling the buzz of electricity.

“Did...did I do something wrong?” Cas lifts his head, looking down at Dean. His head resting on his thigh, he tries to speak again. “No, but I felt...something. Did you do something?”

“I did feel my grace touching you as I was….”

“Holy fuck I didn’t know your grace could do that!”

“Do what?” Cas asks.

Dean chuckles, trying to think of how to explain. “You know how you just felt? The..buildup and then...it was like full on pleasure?”

“Yeah.”

“When your grace touched me, I felt it too-The full on pleasure.”

“So, it was enjoyable for you, then?”

Dean laughs. “Hell yeah it was enjoyable.” Feeling a little less drained but drowsy now, he climbs up and lays beside Cas again. 

Castiel smiles and his face glows with happiness. He rolls to face Dean again and grabs his hand. Dean leans in and kisses him softly. “I love you Castiel.” he says snuggling against him. Dean pulls Cas’ arms around him and closes his eyes. “I love you too, Dean.” he hears just before falling asleep.


	5. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after Castiel and Dean's night spent alone together at the motel.

Dean wakes up sleepily grinning up at Cas, grabbing his hand. Their fingers interlace. Castiel presses a kiss against Dean’s forehead. He blushes, hiding his face in the crook of Cas’ neck. He breathes in deeply, the smell of honeysuckle and fresh rain fill his senses. “Mmmm Cas, you smell so good.” Dean says. He can’t help but leave a trail of kisses along Cas’ neck, along his jaw and back to his lips.

Cas pulls back and smiles. “Did you sleep well, Dean?”

“You know what, I slept better than I think maybe I ever have before.” Dean answers. 

“No nightmares?” Cas asks.

Dean looks at him, sitting up. “Why would you ask about nightmares, Cas?”

“The times I have observed you while sleeping, you seem restless. Sometimes you talk in your sleep and cry out. Knowing you, I assume these are most likely nightmares about the people you couldn’t save.”

Dean stands up and just stands beside the bed. Unable to look at Castiel. Feeling almost like he’s had the breath knocked out of him, Dean can’t believe the ease of Cas’ words as well as just how well he knows him-down to his core. He definitely wasn’t expecting to feel such deep, raw emotions as soon as he woke up.  
Dean takes a deep breath and gulps, silently.

Castiel sits up, looking at Dean. “I’m sorry. Have I upset you?”

Dean bites his lip, shaking his head as he looks up at the Angel. He holds back the tears that threaten to fill his eyes. “You really do know me, Cas.”

The Angel reaches out and Dean takes his hand, tilting his head. “Of course I do. I’ve seen you in your purest form. When I pulled you from hell, you had the most beautiful soul I’d ever seen. I’ve loved you from the moment we met.” He pulls Dean back to him, and wraps him in his arms. Dean rests his head on Cas’ shoulder. The tears disobey him and not only fill his eyes now, but begin to spill down his cheeks. “Thank you.” he says.

“For what?”

Dean pulls back and looks into Castiel’s eyes, shifting his jaw. “For loving me.” his voice trembles.

The Angel gently wipes the tears from Dean’s cheeks and smiles. “Before you, joy was just a word to me. Considered a strictly human emotion that held no meaning.”

Dean’s chin quivers as his eyes fill with tears once more. He looks down, overwhelmed with emotion.

Castiel stands up, tilts Dean’s head up to face him, and kisses him until Dean’s breathing slows- his heartbeat calming. They stand together for several minutes. Dean’s head is buried in Cas’ chest, breathing slowly, eyes closed, as the Angel’s fingers run through his hair.

“Cas.” Dean finally says, breaking the silence.

“Yes?” Castiel asks.

“You take such good care of me.” Dean says.

“That’s why I’m here.” he answers, running the back of his hand along the side of Dean’s face.

Dean smiles, eyes shining at the one he loves. “Let’s go home.”


	6. Back Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean are back at the bunker after their night alone together.

The purr of the impala dies as Dean parks in front of the bunker. Grinning at Cas with eyes full of love, they both step out and walk towards the entrance. The bunker door opens and they make their way down the staircase. Finding Sam and Jack in the kitchen, Cas and Dean stop near the doorway, standing side by side. 

“Hey guys.” Jack says, looking up from his bowl of sugary cereal. “How was the motel?” he asks, taking a bite.

“Yeah, how was the motel?” Sam chimes in, smiling.

Cas grins, darting his eyes to Dean and then to Sam.

Dean chuckles, feeling his cheeks turn pink. Licking his lips, then clearing his throat. “It was..uh…” his eyes shift away as he scratches the back of his head.

Sam can’t help but chuckle.

Cas rolls his eyes.

“It was great.” Dean finally says.

“So, did you work it out?” Jack asks, taking another bite.

Dean and Cas look at each other, then to Sam.

“Work what out?” Dean asks.

Jack swallows his bite before answering. “Sam said you guys needed more time to talk about things. So, I figured there was some dumb argument again that you guys were trying to work through.”

Sam burst out laughing when he sees Dean’s jaw stiffen and his eyes narrow at being called out at their usual behavior.

Of course, Jack looks back at Sam confused.

Cas answers. “Yeah, I think we’re good.” He brushes his pinky lightly against Dean’s.

Dean’s heart flutters at Cas’ words and tease of his slight touch. A smile spreads across his face as their night and morning alone, runs through his mind.

“Good.” Jack says, smiling before drinking the milk left in his bowl.

Sam is smiling now, leaning against the fridge arms crossed. “I’m glad.” he adds.

“Well, uh I think I’m gonna go hang out in my room for a little bit. Maybe listen to some music, read, take a nap.” Dean says, sneaking a quick look toward Cas before turning to leave.

“I guess I’m gonna go….see if I can find out any leads about a case.” Cas says, seemingly leaving in a hurry up the stairs and out the bunker door.

Sam furrows his eyebrows, then shakes off the feeling he has. ‘Whatever.’ 

Jack turns around to Sam, an milk mustache lingering on his lips. “Do you think they’re still fighting?”

Sam chuckles, clearing his throat. “Jack, you have a little…” his voice trails off as he motions toward his lips. He hands him a napkin. “And no, I think they’re okay now.” he answers.

In his room with his music on purposely without his headphones plugged in, sitting on his bed. After several minutes, he sighs and rolls his eyes. “Cas, can you come here, please.” he says out loud.

Wings flutter and Cas is standing beside Dean’s bed. “I thought you wanted to be alone?” Cas asks, tilting his head.

Dean chuckles. He stands, wrapping his arms around Cas’ waist, and smiles. Leaning in close, he looks into his eyes. “Actually, I was wanting to get you in here with me alone for a while.”

Reaching up, Cas runs his fingers through Dean’s hair. He looks up at him with a faint smile. 

‘god, has he always been this adorable?’ Dean thinks. He licks his lips, and sighs. “Kiss me?”he asks, biting his lip, seductively.

Cas closes the distance between them, pressing his mouth to Dean’s soft full lips. Pressing his tongue through, he moans lightly as he tastes his lover again. He breathes deeply and Dean’s intoxicating scent makes his knees weak.

Feeling drunk on the delicious taste of his Angel, Dean grips the lapels of Cas’ trench coat, holding tight.

Cas locks his hand in Dean’s hair, pulling gently. Waves of pleasure come over Dean and he moans into Cas’ mouth.

Holding Dean’s hips firmly, Cas pulls back. They both pant, breathing heavily. “Dean, I-I want you.”

Swallowing dryly, Dean gives Cas an inviting look as he lays back on his bed. “Take me.”

Following, Cas climbs over and straddles Dean.

Dean pulls Cas, hands against his back, towards him, kissing him softly. Caressing the side of his cheek, he runs his fingers along his skin to the back of his neck.

Cas pulls back looking into Dean’s eyes. Sitting up, he shrugs his coat and suit jacket off and shoves them off the bed. Dean undoes his tie, removing it. He starts unbuttoning Cas’ shirt, kissing him again as he pushes it off his shoulders.

Cas kicks out of his shoes as Dean pulls his own shirt off over his head. 

Returning on top of Dean, Cas runs his hands over his shoulders and arms. 

Dean presses his hand into Cas’, using his other hand to pull his face to him again, by the back of his neck. Their tongues explore each other’s mouth.

Making quick work of getting rid of his pants, Cas begins to start on Dean’s jeans. Dean digs his nails into Cas’ back, moaning as he feels kisses and licks right above the rim of his boxers. Lifting his hips to help, Cas pulls the jeans off and tosses them aside.

“Cas.” Dean says breathlessly, leaning his head up, fingers now hidden in Cas’ hair.

Stopping to look up at him, Cas has his thumbs under the trim of Dean’s boxers.

“Wait, come here.” Dean pleads.

Not able to deny his lover’s request, Cas comes back up to his face.

“Lay against me, please.” Dean adds, pulling Cas down fully on top of him.

“What is it?” he asks, searching his face.

Dean runs his hand along Cas’ back and shoulders, pulling his face closer with his other hand. He kisses all along Cas’ neck and jawline. Down one side, then up the other. “Make love to me, Cas.” he whispers, lips beside his ear.


	7. First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean's first time together- Making love

Placing his hands on either side of Dean’s face, he gives him an unsure look. He gulps, pressing their foreheads together. Looking into his gorgeous green eyes causes the warm feeling in Cas’ chest to swell. Struggling with the words, he speaks. “I-I want to, I just..I don’t know-”

Interrupting, Dean finds Cas’ hands with his own. “I know. This is new for me too.” He offers, reassuringly. He smiles before pressing a soft lingering kiss against the Angel’s lips. “Maybe just go slow. More kissing and..this feeling, instead of how it felt before. Don’t rush, just.. be here with me.”

Comforted by Dean’s words, he meets his lips again, this time passionately and unrushed. He pulls back and slides down his body. Carefully slipping Dean’s boxers off, he kisses along his inner thighs, fingers guiding the way across soft skin. He crouches in between Dean’s thighs.

Unintentionally, Dean responds to each kiss with a small gasp as Cas works his way up to and surrounding his hips and pubic bone. Looking up at him, he takes his lover into his mouth. 

Feeling a shiver down his spine, Dean moans, head pushing into the pillows and his back arching slightly away from the bed. His fingers bury themselves in Cas’ dark hair. His breathing gets more erratic, as his eyes close and he bites his lip.

Cas feels a tug against his shoulder, and he promptly returns to Dean’s mouth. Arms wrapping around his back.

Dean finds Cas’ hand and brings his index finger to his lips. Dean thoroughly wets it with his lips and tongue, then guides his hand down as he draws his legs up towards his chest.

At his urging, Cas presses his finger into him slowly as he watches Dean’s face carefully for indications of pleasure or pain. He sucks in air, seeming to indicate at least slight pain. “Let me help.” he said. Dean feels an instant ease of pressure and dryness. He sighs out the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Better?” Cas whispers. Dean nods, and another finger is added. Fingers circling barely inserted, Dean begins to moan lightly. He pulls Cas’ hand closer, drawing his fingers deeper. His fingers brush against something and Dean feels a wave of pleasure. His body trembles in response.

Noticing the reaction, Cas runs his fingers along the same area, more purposeful this time. This causes another jerk from Dean’s body, and pulling a deep moan from his lungs.

“Kiss me.” Dean demands breathlessly. It’s hard to focus on the wonderful wetness of his Angel’s tongue in his mouth, as the fingers continue pressing into that wonderful spot inside him. He moans into Cas’ mouth, and another finger is added.  
Pulling back and breaking their kiss, Dean moans loudly, panting. “Cas, I’m ready.”

Cas looks to him, removing his fingers. His eyes silently beg for another confirmation, which apparently Dean recognizes. He nods, and the Angel moves closer. Brushing his fullness against his entrance, Dean’s hand guides him in. 

Moving forward slowly, Dean nods to approve. Cas goes deeper, an intense moan pulls from his chest and his eyes close. Moving Cas’ hands to his hips, Dean places his own against the firm chest of his lover.

Beginning to move a little, Dean moans in approval. Leaning forward, Cas eagerly kisses his lover again, while he starts a steady rhythm of thrusting. “I love you.” Cas pants against Dean’s’ lips. “I love you too, baby.”

The slow, steady rhythm continues alternating moans. “Cas.” and “Dean.” breathlessly uttered in their pleasure. The pressure starts to build and their rhythm quickens. “Oh Dean.” Cas moans, as he wraps his hands around Dean’s thighs, pulling himself in faster and deeper. “Cas, I need…” Dean tries, panting. Then he tries again, without words. He pulls one of Cas’ hands away from his thigh, placing it on his own dripping member.

Cas repeats the now familiar motions with his wrist, on Dean’s impressive length. His wrist matches the rhythm and speed of his hips as he continues to thrust. Dean leans up as best he can, meeting his Angel’s lips. His tongue eagerly tastes him again, as all the other sensations continue. He moans as everything starts to overwhelm his senses.

Dean begins to whimper with anticipation for the coming relief. Cas moans, forehead against Dean’s as he continues to move. Their movements quicken even more. “Oh, baby. Oh, Cas.” Dean lets out as he gets closer to the edge. “Oh Dean.” Cas moans, moving his hand from Dean’s hip to his shoulder.

Watching each other come undone sends fire through their veins. Right on the edge now, Cas can feel the energy from his grace vibrating just beneath his flesh. Dean’s stomach becomes drenched with his release. Seeing this, adds fuel to the fire for Cas and he too is pushed over the edge. Blue electricity flows between them from Cas’ hand to Dean’s shoulder.

They both almost wail with such immense pleasure, seeming to last and last. Finally the unending spasms cease and their bodies continue to slightly twitch off and on for the next few minutes.

Cas collapses beside Dean, their sweat-clad bodies automatically tangling themselves together. “I love you, Cas.” The Angel smiles, still breathing heavy. He presses a gentle kiss against Dean’s forehead. Dean puts his hand against Cas’ jaw. Cas looks into his eyes, tears slowly falling. “I love you, Dean. I love you so much.”

Dean Kisses Cas, slowly and passionately. Pulling away, he wipes the tears from his cheeks. “Cas, will you- stay with me? …..Be with me?” he struggles out, eyes desperately pleading with the Angel to understand and to accept.

“You-wish to be...mated with me, Dean?”

Dean chuckles. “If that means we’re together, then yes. Do you- would you want to be with me, Cas?”

“I have wanted to be with you, for us to be together for quite a while.”

A single tear escapes, rebelliously streaming down his face.

Both their faces are shining, tears falling through honest smiles.

“So, you want your home to be here then? With me?”

“My home IS here. My home is wherever you are. YOU are my home, Dean.” 

Dean’s chin quivers and the dam breaks. “Good. Because you belong with me. We’re better together, always have been.” his voice breaks. “I’m yours, Cas.” He kisses him softly. “I love you, baby. My Angel, my love, my Cas. MY home. My forever.”


	8. I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Eileen get some focus in this chapter

Jack adjusts the quickest to Cas living at the bunker. They fall into a routine most nights, of having long talks while Sam and Dean sleep. Sam is still getting used to the awkwardness of running into Cas in the kitchen or the hallway in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning. 

Dean, while mostly thrilled to have Cas there now, is still trying to get the feel of the whole forever thing. He has never believed or even dared to dream about actually ending up with someone for the long haul. Having long ago accepted the whole happily ever thing would never happen- he just wasn’t cut out for it.

Sam is definitely happy for his brother and best friend. He really is- it’s just...he’s honestly jealous. So, when he meets a fellow hunter named Eileen and there seems to be a spark between them, he feels hopeful. They start hunting together sometimes, and dating. They begin having date nights and couple weekends.

Slowly, the new starts to wear off with Cas and Dean, but it shifts instead to comfortable and reliable. Some nights Cas still sits with Jack and talks but others, he stays with Dean. Sometimes they talk and laugh and just enjoy each other’s company long into the night. Other times, Dean falls asleep earlier than he means to and Cas stays with him anyway. He finds often that his presence and warmth results in a more peaceful rest for Dean.

Things go well for everyone for a little over a year. Then, Eileen is hurt badly on a hunt- she almost dies. That’s when Sam realizes how much he really cares about her.

************************************

“I know you grew up in the life, just like me and Dean. But Look at what almost happened.”

“But it didn’t. And besides, that’s the risk we’ve been taking our whole lives. Every case is a possible ending for hunters. That’s just the way it is.”

“Yeah, but that’s my point. It doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to KEEP living your life that way, babe.”

“Oh, so you’re saying I should just quit? And do what, Sam? Get a ‘normal’ job?”

I don’t know, maybe. You could go back to school like you talked about before.”

“And what about you, Sam? It’s okay for you to put your neck on the line constantly but not me? Why, because I’m a woman? Do you think I should just find a husband, have some kids and sit at home taking care of the house? Because I don’t see that for me. I don’t WANT that.”

“What? Of course that’s not what I mean. I know you can certainly handle yourself. You’re a badass hunter, Eileen. I just….got scared when I almost lost you. I don’t know what I’d do if..”

“I can’t believe you of ALL people, don’t get it. Nobody ever really ‘retires’ from hunting Sam. It’s just- it’s our life.”

“I do...I get it. I…. I just want you to be safe.”

“I mean, if you hate it so much, why don’t YOU quit? OH, that’s right. You DID quit, a few times actually, right? Yet here you are.”

“I know. But I still want more. This life- just hunting isn’t enough for me. It never has been. I want kids, I want a wife. I want a chance at whatever my version of ‘normal’ is.”

“Okay Sam, I can’t talk about this anymore right now. I’m...upset, angry and...I need some space, okay?”

Sam picks up his jacket and walks to the door. “Of course. I understand.” he says as he leaves.

Eileen sighs, with her face in her hands. “Shit.”

*******************************

Sam walks inside the bunker, passes Dean, Cas and Jack wordlessly. He goes straight to his room and shuts the door.

“Sam?” Dean says, looking after him.

“Wonder what that was about.” Jack says, shrugging his shoulders and taking another bite of pizza.

Cas places his hand on Dean’s shoulder and kisses the corner of his mouth. “Just, let him be. You know he’ll talk about when he’s ready.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Dean says, returning a kiss on Cas’ lips. He smiles, rubbing his nose against Cas’.

Jack chews happily, watching his dads be all sappy and adorable.

*********************************

A few weeks pass and Sam still hasn’t heard from Eileen. He checks his phone constantly, making himself crazy. He goes on a hunt with Dean, Cas and Jack and can’t help but be distant. Distracted by the worry that he’s ruined everything and lost her forever. Cas rides with Dean in the impala and Sam drives his car, Jack riding along.

“Sam.” Jack says, breaking the silence.

The street lights flicker as they pass by.

“Yeah, what’s up Jack?”

“I’ve noticed, well we've ALL noticed you’ve been pretty quiet and keeping to yourself lately.” Jack says, looking over to him.

Sam sighs. He’s known the questions were going to start and is honestly surprised they’ve waited this long. “I...um. Eileen and I had a fight.”

“Oh. What was it about?”

Sam shifts in his seat a little. The car turns onto a new street and Sam gulps before answering. “Ah, well...when Eileen got hurt it really scared me.”

“And that’s what the fight was about?” a confused look crosses Jack’s face.

“Uh, not exactly. But I guess I said all the wrong things and upset her.”

“So what happened? When she got upset?”

“She said she needed space. But now I’m afraid I’ve pushed her away. That I’ve lost her.”

“Maybe you should reach out.”

“No, I don’t think I should. I told her I’d give her space.”

“I’m sure you’ll hear from her soon.”

************************************************************

Eileen keeps checking her phone. ‘I don’t know why I keep expecting a text from him. I told him I need space and he’s just being respectful of that.’ she reminds herself. She sighs. For what seems like the millionth time, she begins writing a text to him, when she shakes her head, erasing the words.

‘Why did I even get mad? He was just trying to tell me how he feels. He was worried about me. And what did I do? Got upset and made him feel guilty for wanting me to be safe.’ She rolls her eyes at herself. “UGH!” she groans, tossing her phone onto her bed.

She grabs a snack cake from the kitchen and walks back into her room. She begrudgingly picks her phone up again and checks her notifications.

1 New Text Message from Dean Winchester

Dean:  
Hey, we could use your help on a case we’re working

Typing back her reply, she starts packing her bag.

***********************************************

Sam is in the motel shower, washing his hair as he hears Jack’s voice faintly from the other side of the bathroom door.

“I’m gonna go talk to Dean and Cas. Be back later.”

“A-lright.” Sam replies, eyes closed as shampoo drips down his face.

He hears the motel door close. Continuing his shower, several minutes later, he’s about to turn the water off when he hears the motel door close again.

His eyes narrow suspiciously, as he turns the water off and grabs his towel. He quickly wraps it around his waist and grabs his gun from the back of the toilet and slowly opens the bathroom door. He peeks out, not seeing anything.

“Hello?” he says.

No response.

He cocks the gun and slings the door open, popping out facing the rest of the room aiming straight ahead of him.

Eileen is standing there with a shocked look on her face, holding her hands up in surrender.

“Oh, shit.” he says, uncocking the gun and laying it on the counter. “Um, Hi. What are you…”

“Dean texted me. He said you guys needed my help on a case.”

Sam sighs, flexing his jaw. “Of course he did.” he walks toward her. “Look, Eileen, I’m not sure what all Dean said, but I didn’t know anything about him contacting you. I swear. You said you need space and I’m completely fine with that.”

“I know.”

“You..you do?”

She nods. “I’ve missed you.” she offers, looking up at him through her eyelashes.

Sam gulps, then smiles softly. “I’ve missed you too. I’m sorry for what I said. I should have never-”

Eileen cuts him off. “Stop. You didn’t say anything wrong. You were just trying to let me know how much you care, right?”

He nods, wordlessly.

She takes a step forward, taking his hand. “I’m sorry for how I reacted. Hunting is all I’ve ever known, but ..you were right. I want more than that. I don’t wanna be doing this until I die. I don’t want this to be all there is.”

Sam’s eyes narrow, head tilts slightly in confusion. “But you said-”

“I lied.” She says, grabbing his arms and slinging him onto the bed in a maneuver that leaves Sam’s mouth gaping open in surprise. 

“Self defense classes.” she offers, smirking.

His body is still slick wet from the hot shower, towel now on the floor beside the bed.

She climbs up and leans over him. She smiles, pulls her shirt off over her head, dropping it to the floor. She kisses him and his hands move to the exposed skin on her sides. The kiss is gentle and sweet. It breaks off then there’s another and another until this one is much more needing and urgent.

Breaking away again, Eileen leans back and looks into his eyes. “I love you.” She says, tracing his bottom lip with her thumb.

He smiles, kissing her thumb and pulling her closer. “I love you.” He says. Rolling them over, he is laying on top of her now. He takes in the curves and lines of her face. Her dark hair, soft lips and brown eyes are where he gets lost, holding her face between both hands. He kisses her again, slowly and passionately.

She wraps her arms around his back, clinging to him.


	9. Things Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean fight (verbal, not physical)

“Dean.” Sam says, nervously. He shuffles his stance, as he works through how to actually begin.

“Yeah, Sam. What’s going on?” Dean answers from behind the open fridge door. Clinking noises sound as he moves things around. “Hey, do you know if we have any more of that sandwich meat left?” He asks, peeking around to his brother.

“Uh, I THINK we finished the last of it yesterday at lunch.” Sam replies.

“Aww dammit. Guess it's down to grilled cheese until we go to the store.” Dean says, pulling out the package of cheese and a few sticks of butter and closes the fridge.

Sam watches his older brother Walk to the stove and grab a skillet and the loaf of bread. “So, I need to talk to you. It’s important.” He says, finally.

Dean looks back at Sam for a moment to answer. “Okay, shoot. I’m all ears.” he says, looking back to the task at hand. He turns on the eye, sets down the skillet and grabs a spatula.

“Well, it’s about me and Eileen.” he pauses, gulping. He can already hear Dean’s voice raising in anger in his mind.

“Alright, well are you gonna tell me somethin’ or do you expect me to guess?” Dean asks, adding butter to the skillet then a slice of bread.

Sam flexes his jaw, licking his lips. He sighs deeply. ‘Here goes.’ he thinks. “We..kinda made up. We’d had a fight and she said she needed space but...anyway,” he says, scrunching his eyes closed, hand making a motion in the air as if to erase his last words to start over. “We..talked. About what we had the fight about. We got into a fight because after she almost-” he couldn’t actually bring himself to say the words. “After, I just...I want her to be safe, so I suggested maybe she -stop hunting.” his words hung in the air and he waited for Dean’s reaction.

Dean takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment. He bites his bottom lip. “Cut the crap.” he says suddenly, voice stern turning to face Sam. “Just what the hell are you trying to say, huh? You’re leaving? You’re gonna go back to trying to live out this...goddamn fantasy you’re living in about having a ‘normal’ life?”

Sam’s face tightens, his heart races and his veins are instantly filled with pure rage. “Are you…” he looks away, then back. “Are you FUCKING kidding me, man?!”

Dean clenches his jaw, turns off the stove eye and sets down the spatula. He turns to face Sam again. He gives Sam a death glare. “Yeah, I’m joking. Can’t you tell by me dying of laughter right now?” he says, his tone harsh.

“So, what, you and Cas can be together, try to make things work and find your own version of happiness but no, NOT ME! You think I don’t deserve some happiness too? Really?!”

“I never sai-” Dean tries to respond.

“I’ve ALWAYS been there for you, Dean! I’ve NEVER ONCE told you that you can’t do something. I’ve ALWAYS believed in you and wanted GOOD for you. I WANT to see you happy! How can you not want that for me too?” his face is soft now. Feeling like he might cry, he fights back the sensation in his chest. “Why can’t you just be happy for me, for once?” he asks, turning to leave.

“Sam!” He starts after him, but his damn pride stops him after a single step forward. “Goddammit.” he mutters to himself, hearing Sam head up the stairs then slamming the bunker door. He walks back to the stove and decides he’s not hungry anymore. He grabs the skillet, slinging it across the room with a shout of frustration. “Ahhh!”

It makes a heavy *CLANG* and bounces off the wall, leaving a sizable indention, then falls to the floor making an even louder, echoing *CRASH*.

“Fuck.” he immediately hates himself, going back over what was said. ‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’ he chastises himself. Rubbing his hand over his face, he notices Cas at the doorway.

“Everything... okay?” Cas asks, stepping over the skillet laying face down on the floor in front of the doorway.

Dean sighs, shaking his head.

Cas cocks his head to the side, eyes full of compassion he makes his way to Dean. He puts his hands on Dean’s shoulders. “What happened?” he says, softly.

Dean presses their foreheads together, and hands on either side of Cas’ face. “Sam left.”

Eyebrows narrow and Cas pulls back and look into Dean’s eyes. “Where to?” he asks.

Dean shrugs, looking down at the floor and dropping his arms to his sides.

“C’mon. What happened, Dean?” he presses the issue.

Looking back up, he meets Cas’ gaze. “We had a fight.”

“Obviously.” Cas motions to the skillet on the floor and the dent in the wall above the doorway.

“Sam’s leaving.” Dean says finally, licking his lips. “Like for good.” he gulps, looking back at the floor.

“What do you mean? Leaving, why?” Cas asks.

“Eileen.” he answers simply. “He wants to leave and try again for a ‘normal’ life. Get out of hunting so she’ll be safe.” he adds.

“That’s not an unreasonable thing to want, Dean.”

“He’s leaving me-us. I don’t...I don’t know how- to do this without him. All I’ve ever done is ‘take care of Sammy’. It’s all I’ve really ever known.”

Cas cups Dean’s face and their eyes meet again. “Maybe it’s time for you to let him go. He’s got to live his own life, Dean. Just like you have to live yours. Let him find his own way. He’s strong and smart. He can do it. And so can you.”

“I..I don’t even know who I am without him.” Dean admits, equally terrified at the idea of not having him around anymore and at this revelation he’s just had.

“You’re not losing him.” Cas assures, pressing his lips against Dean’s.

“How can you be sure?” Dean asks, against Cas’ mouth.

Cas kisses him deeply, slipping his tongue between his lips and licking into his mouth.

Dean pulls back, panting.

“You should know by now how much he cares for you. You’ve both given up so much for each other. But you don’t have to choose between each other and living your own life-you can have both.”

Complete vulnerability showing in Dean’s eyes, he looks at Cas.

Cas takes Dean’s hands and presses another soft lingering kiss against his lips.

“You’re right.” he says, sighing. He pulls Cas into a loving embrace and kisses his forehead.

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I'm not giving up on this I just haven't had the next chapters come to me yet but I swear I'll be continuing ❤


End file.
